My epiphany

I think I understand why God has taken me out of Biola and brought me back home, so listen up and be intrigued!

My epiphany came to me with slow progression. Since, the summer I have been asking, nay, begging God why He made me leave my comfortable life at Biola, where I had friends who meshed with me so wonderfully and classes I actually enjoyed and were challenged in. Why did he make me go to the one school I swore to stay away from, thinking it was the scum of the educational system. And why he made me move back home, where I felt confined and restricted in my growth into the person I was becoming.
Thinking and trusting God would reveal his plan to me in time, I put up with a lot. I had the constant feeling of deep pain and betrayal that He would take from me something that seemed so perfect for me. I felt alone and depressed, being taken from my friends and comfortable environment. I have been struggling with my trust and faith in God and have taken out my anger on my family.
There's an artist I found on the radio and fell in love with how real he is in his music and how he sings his heart. I just bought his CD, which is amazing. His name is Brandon Heath and there's a song on the album called Trust You. Some of the lines say "I’m not gonna fight you anymore
Not gonna try to lock the door
You took your life and gave me yours
There’s no reason why
I shouldn’t trust you with mine

It’s never easy changing my direction
It’s so unnatural to loosen up my grip
Are you growing weary of all my good intentions
Cause I know that You don’t work that way."

I was just amazed at the simplicity but the depth of the truth in this song. I felt such shame and guilt for acting the way I have been and blaming God. I love how it says "you took your life and gave me yours. There's no reason why I shouldn't trust you with mine." After hearing this song, the epiphany completed itself in a wave of emotion. I felt relief that God really did have a plan for me. Stupid for taking so long to realize this. Joyful that my life seems to have a purpose and a hope again, my life is to serve and follow God, whereever he takes me. A priceless piece of Mother's wisdom, a phrase my mom tells me constantly, " God has a path paved for your life, its already done, we just receive new information leading us to the next step in that path."

So, and here it is!, as long as I trust God with my life, the one He has given and forgiven me, there is no need to fuss over anything. All in all have faith.