So artificially Sweet

Its Wedensday and I am somewhat pensive.

These past few days I have just been pondering about life. The past, present and frightful future. I have been thinking so much about it, in fact, that I actually dream about it. The dreams are only small snippets of memories as a child and dreams that reveal my desires and wishes.

As I have said before I believe that I have been brought home to figure out what my purpose in life is and to develop into a more mature and independent person. It might seem impossible to become independent while living at home with my parents but I think that in other aspects of my life I am becoming more self-reliant.

I think slowing the Lord in opening up his plan for my life to me. I couldn't tell you where He is leading me right now. I don't know if I will continue pursuing journalism or if I will choose to do something else. The only evidence I have for God uncovering His plan is that every time I think about what life will have in store, I have total peace. It used to scare me to death, what my future held. But now I don't feel pressure to do anything.

It may be confusing why I am doubting my choice in majoring in journalism now because everything seemed to be going swimmingly for me last year. But what if it isn't supposed to be that easy for me? What if I had stayed at Biola and continued in that major? How would I have grown as a person with everything planned out for me and laid at me feet, waiting for me to take it?What if I'm supposed to fight harder?
I don't think that's how its gonna work for me.

Another thing I have been thinking about....singleness. This used to be a touchy topic for me. I didn't like being single, although I had nothing to compare it too except for what I have seen. I have come to find, however, that I am perfectly content being single. Yes, there are times where Ithink otherwise. But other than that, singleness and I could be BFFs.

Pain never felt so Good

If you're wondering why I have't taken to the blog lately..well its because there wasn't much to blog about in my view. But a lot has happened in the last two weeks and now I have something to talk about. Which is exciting!

So, my days at school are long but I feel very studious, either stationing myself on campus somewhere secluded and doing homework and studied or napping in my car :) Its not too bad, I sometimes enjoy it; I just come home really tired and with my brain as jelly. I think I enjoy my spanish and pilates class the most. Spanish is probably my most difficult class too which is weird that I like it. Posible, me gusta hacer un desafio!
translation: I possibly like the challenge.

Pilates is definitley working me. Im always asking Ingrid " Feel my abs! Feel how hard they are now." But right now if you're imagining me with a flat tummy and a six-pack please erase that image from your mind because it depresses me and is a false image...for now :)
I always walk out of that class feeling stretched, flexed, strengthened and confident! Which is always good for a person, I believe.

My cousin Audrey got wedded about two weekends ago. Although I do not have pictures on my computer, I will try to post some soon. My mom constructed the wedding cake for the occasion. ANd it was not only delish but stunning. It was a french style "cake" although I wouldn't call it a cake but a tower of AWESOME!! it consists of creme puffs being glued together with caramelized sugar into a tower sort of thing. Then decorated as preferred. We did spun sugar and small white flowers. SO CLASSY! and we also dipped about 300-400 strawberries in milk and white chocolate. It all turned out amazing. There was small drama involved but I won't get into that.

Last weekend, I had the pleasure and joy of visiting friends at my former Biola. It was a very nice visit and it was good to see everyone....well almost everyone. It weird to come back as an outsider, per say, and see how the dynamics of friendships have changed and how things "go down." I won't go any more into that either. But it was a nice visit.

This last weekend, just passed, was quite the adventure.It was the weekend of first timing. I went up to BIg Bear with Oom Jopie and Ingrid. We stayed at friends', Marco and Ally, house Saturday night. Sunday morning, we went with Marco to the discover center, where he works, and went with him and his tourist group on a snowshoeing hike. They aren't the stereotypical snow shoes you think of. Ya know, the tennis rackets but they are more "high tech." Although the snow got kinda slushy later, it was an awesome event. That was my first time snowshoeing.
We had lunch at a little restaurant called Big Bear Manor. Why am I telling you the name of this place? What's its importance?
Well, 1. I thought it was a cute name
2. The place itself was cute and quaint
3. And most importantly, THEY HAD THE BIGGEST PANCAKES ID EVER SEEN!!
I had one. That was my first time having a pancake the size of a platter. YES A PLATTER! i kid you not, friend, I kid you not.
Go get one yourself if you do not believe.
After the settling of what felt like a pound of pancake, we went rock climbing. First time. Ok technically, thats a lie. I have been rock climbing but marco and ally don't think it is really rock climbing. It was one of those pathetic walls you find at fairs and such. SO anyways I went rock climbing. According to my hosts, they said the rock I was to climb was a 5 10 B, which is an advanced wall. Again, It was my first time. I was excited to try, thinking I could scurry up that rock like a spider. haha what a stupid ignorant fool I was.
I took me probably an hour to climb this was...at least. I would say it was about 35ft high. But I did it and I have never felt so proud of myself for anything! You're up there clinging to this rock by practically nothing and your arms and legs feel like their gonna give way and you're telling yourself, " How the heck did I think I could do this...piece of cake?!" But once you reach the top, you feel so free and strong and like you're the boss! It truly is an amazing feeling!

Well, this post is coming to a close because I am tired and sore as hell and need to sleep before early class tomorrow. My muscles are soo sore. Funny story....we were making dinner last ngiht after we had climbed and I sneezed. My abs contracted and hurt like a mutha!! I was like " acjoo....ahhhhoowwwwooooooh...gasp" they laughed at me. I'm hoping that my pilates class will loosen up my sore muscles and keep my intense workouts going!!!

Ok Im gone ya'll..like the money our government is trying to spend.
XOXO