So artificially Sweet

Its Wedensday and I am somewhat pensive.

These past few days I have just been pondering about life. The past, present and frightful future. I have been thinking so much about it, in fact, that I actually dream about it. The dreams are only small snippets of memories as a child and dreams that reveal my desires and wishes.

As I have said before I believe that I have been brought home to figure out what my purpose in life is and to develop into a more mature and independent person. It might seem impossible to become independent while living at home with my parents but I think that in other aspects of my life I am becoming more self-reliant.

I think slowing the Lord in opening up his plan for my life to me. I couldn't tell you where He is leading me right now. I don't know if I will continue pursuing journalism or if I will choose to do something else. The only evidence I have for God uncovering His plan is that every time I think about what life will have in store, I have total peace. It used to scare me to death, what my future held. But now I don't feel pressure to do anything.

It may be confusing why I am doubting my choice in majoring in journalism now because everything seemed to be going swimmingly for me last year. But what if it isn't supposed to be that easy for me? What if I had stayed at Biola and continued in that major? How would I have grown as a person with everything planned out for me and laid at me feet, waiting for me to take it?What if I'm supposed to fight harder?
I don't think that's how its gonna work for me.

Another thing I have been thinking about....singleness. This used to be a touchy topic for me. I didn't like being single, although I had nothing to compare it too except for what I have seen. I have come to find, however, that I am perfectly content being single. Yes, there are times where Ithink otherwise. But other than that, singleness and I could be BFFs.