Number 4

Happily Ever

2010-05-16T17:19:00.001-07:00

Mr. and Mrs. Markham <3
Married May 15th on a beautiful yacht in Newport.

Congrats, you two love birds ;)

Can you hear the bells?

2010-05-10T22:08:00.000-07:00

So....in 5 days my wonderful friend Tawney is getting married to the awesome Matt (yes, that is now your official title)

I still can't wrap my head around it.

She's getting married. She's getting married.

I'm so thrilled for her but I don't think the reality of the situation with become clear to me until the wedding day, when she leaves the ceremony hand-in-hand with her husband under a shower of flower petals.

I love her dearly and pray that God blesses her and Matt's marriage. That through hard times they will be stronger than ever and overflowing with love for one another and God.

I am so happy that she wants to share this life-altering and momentous occasion with me. I am so honored to be in the wedding as a bridesmaid. I'm afraid I'm going to trip and fall... yikes!!

<3 ya Tawney and i guess you're cool, Matt. lol

resurrect

2010-05-07T00:16:00.000-07:00

I'm back.

I realize that I have been M.I.A the last few months but believe when i say for good reason.

It may be a lame reason but it is good.

School.

If you know me, school somewhat consumes me. I have been buried this semester and you'd like I'd be getting excellent scores......no.

In all but one of my classes I am passing with flying colors, ray of sunshine and explosions of confetti.

Ugh.....one class with a not so stellar grade could kill any hoop-la. And lucky me, its the one class I need to get into CSU Fullerton.

Which by the way I got waitlisted....

This whole semester, nay, year has been such an experience. I say that in a dry sarcastic and ironic tone.

It really has been experience, truly. Sigh, if only you knew and if I had the time, patience and space to tell you.

God has been good to me and that is all.

More to come though, just want to say I am back because I miss this.
I came to posting so many times but decided to invest my time elsewhere. Tonight is a lucky night because I refuse to sleep and chose to preoccupy myself with a little bit of facebook, pandora, delicious website surfing and-to top it off-blogging.

Where is the love?

2010-01-25T22:57:00.001-08:00

Passion.
Everyone desires passion. Whether in love, life, or in things they enjoy to do.

I want it. My life lacks passion. I real passion, a fervor, fire, breathe.

I want people to look at my life, examine, observe. And have it be obvious.

Let there be no shadow of a doubt, disbelief, question.

I want that.

I want it to consume, control, envelop my every being.
I want it to seep, pour, ooze from every part of me.

Passion is what I ask for. yearn for, desire for, pursue and hunger for.

Of fire & rain

2010-01-20T12:08:00.001-08:00

The weather has been turbulent in recent days and I love it.
The cold sting of the wind, the beat of rain on my face and neck. It thrills me.
Rain is one of my favorite things.
People either hate it or love it. And I can honestly confess that I love it.

Think of the first rain of the season.
The earth seems to beg for it and rejoice when it comes. I feel like everything around me becomes excited when the first drops fall. The rain gives back life.
That's what I love about it.
The day after a good rain is glorious to me as well.
The sky has been washed clean, the soil is rich and colors seem to explode.
The world is vibrant and breathes clear.

There's nothing like a good rain.

Party's over folks

2010-01-04T15:14:00.000-08:00

My holidays were a amazing! How was your's?

My sister Vanessa from Austin, Tx and her boyfriend Ryan flew out and have been staying with us. My brother Ben drove from Calabasas, my aunt fmor Washington made her way down and my cousin Meryl from Las Vegas came out.

I love having all of the family together.

My uncle and his fiance came as well with her daughter, Bri. And of course, in tow, was baby cousin Brooklyn Nicole who will be able to join in the festivities as soon as she's born in February. It was the first time I saw Kelly since she found out she was pregnant and she's just about ready to have Brooklyn. Just a little bit longer to wait. I'm so excited.

AS we do every year, my family did secret santa and white elephant gifts. We actually, didn't have a typical Christmas this year. We celebrate the 29th instead of the traditional 25th.
Why you ask? My aunt and my cousin from Vegas coudn't make it out till then and because they were a part of the Secret Santa we had to wait for them. I didn't mind at all. It felt like Christmas all the same.

Unfortunately I have no pictures to share....poo. I didn't have my camera on hand. But I found some pictures on the gifts I got.

Ryan was my secret santa and boy did he spoil me.

He got me a Lauren-Vintage Hobo clutch

a lovely Round About Roxy scarf
And I got a ton of Bare Minerals eye make up from Ryan. So pretty. love them <3

School started today. I'm taking an online math class for winter session. yay....

ta-ta for now loveys

Holy Geez...

2009-12-13T23:13:00.000-08:00

Is it already the end of the semester?

Unbe-freakin-lievable!

I have five finals this week
monday- Intro to journalism final
Geology lecture
Tuesday-Geology lab
Wednesday- Political Science(American Goverment) paper is due
Friday- Mass media final

sweet yea? NOT

I want this week to be over and done!
After this week though, the crazy does not end.
Saturday- work, go to house of location for bridal shower ( I helped plan a bridal shower for my Tawney whos getting married in May) try on bridemaid dress, bake for bridal shower
Sunday- work, get food for bridal shower, set up for bridal shower, bridal shower, clean after shower, then church)

Yay!
I think it would be nice being a planner for parties and such. Planning the bridal shower was actually kinda fun! It was funny that I ended up doing it cause Im not the maid of honor. But she goes to school in Washinton and it seemed logical to ask the other bridesmaid who is local (me).
I deisigned the invites, planned a menu, making two desserts for the shower and am doing a veggie tray.

I dont want to do the normal veggie tray, I want to try somethign different. any suggestions?

OK.....write now I should be studying for tomorrow mornings final but here I am wasting precious brain cramming time!

Ta-da my dears!

Ages

2009-11-28T15:30:00.000-08:00

It has been ages since I have written.

I have super busy with school, work and life in general.
I am loving my new job! It's chill and I have made good friends with my co-workers. God has blessed me so.
The best part about my job is making drinks. It is a blast and a breeze. It was the most intimidating part when I started.
Next week they'll have me work a shift ALONE. They've had me working with another person but I suppose they feel ready to set me free. I'm nervous but excited.

Hope your Thanksgiving was awesome.
Mine was fantastic! My family and I went to San Diego and spent the holiday with my dad's brother and his family and friends. I was so beat after that day. We left my house at around 6 a.m. Thursday and literally cooked, cleaned and what not till dinner was done at 4 p.m. But so worth the hard work and wait. The traditional Thanksgiving dinner was delectable. Then the dessert spread was outrageous!
Pumpkin pie, Cinnamon apple parfait, carrot cake, chocolate/ walnut cookie bar, and lastly a chocolate flan cake.
I seriously thought I wouldn't eat for a week.
Now that the holiday is over, it's back to reality.
I have two stories to revise, 5 pages to design, a paper to write, and a research paper to revise. Thankfully its not all due monday. but It all needs to be done by wednesday.

My Buble Bubble

2009-10-26T22:49:00.001-07:00

I can't get enough of sweet Michael Buble. Not only does he have a voice that will make any girl's heart take flight but he looks so charming and is probably a blast and a lot fun to be with. He is one of those people I'd love to be friends with.

New song from his latest album Crazy Love. Seriously one of the cutest songs and videos ever. I have it on repeat on Youtube for I do not own the album but want to. He's so precious at 1:20.

One of the greatest covers ever done. He sounds better than Maroon 5, I think.

He does Frank Sinatra so well.

Bean Bean

2009-10-19T22:56:00.000-07:00

I'm employed now! I'm a barista at a local shop!
I'm super excited. I start tomorrow. Wish me luck!

I've become Super busy within like a day. As features editor of my campus paper, I have stories to edit, assist. editors to track down so they can turn in stories, pages to design and so on and so forth. Also classes have tackled me with tons of work.
Now I actually have work to go work at. It's all come to me so suddenly. No time to ease into into and become accustomed.
So, it the way of life I suppose.

Purest

2009-10-06T12:05:00.000-07:00

THEE CUTEST PROPOSAL EVER!
The before the proposal, the proposal, the post-proposal and people's reactions!
SO COOL!

And I am glad

2009-09-28T23:06:00.000-07:00

Switchfoot's new single! I really like it.
Their lyrics speak such truth about life and, well, everything.

I have always been a fan of their work. Are you a fan?

Steller

2009-09-27T23:40:00.000-07:00

Wow. so I feel like I have been really busy lately, like REALLY busy but when I think about it, it isn't true. However, it is true when I am at school.

But when I am home, I loose the heat. The fervor of being preoccupied with things that matter seems to dissipate. No comprendo.

If I had a car and could drive to the nearest Starbucks and sit and study and work, I believe I would be more proud of myself in what I'm doing.

I love lists. To do lists, Dream lists, Grocery Lists, Wish list, Homework lists, Book to read lists, etc you get the idea. I absolutely love lists. Downside?

I never refer back to them. I make then toss or set aside and forget. Those lists are in my head but are floating around I can solidly see them and nothing gets done. I'm a royal mess.

Any suggestions? I need to get busy and stay busy.
Also, jobs. Know anyone that's hiring? I've applied to many places and nada, zip, zilch... >:(

Blocked

2009-09-15T13:03:00.000-07:00

Since I'm on staff at the newspaper, I have been assigned a story, due tomorrow. I'm totally having trouble with it. I don't know why. All it is is a profile of a professor on campus and what he's been up to. Seems pretty simple right? But we've already done one on him a few years ago and I want to make it different. Maybe I'm over-analyzing this too much.
When it comes to this, I have no idea why I'm pursuing journalism. I feel like I'm too easily brain-blocked.

Glee-full!

2009-09-11T22:32:00.000-07:00

CHECK IT OUT!

Extra Extra!

2009-09-11T22:19:00.000-07:00

My second week of school has ended. I can't its already been a week. I feel like I'm not in the swing yet (I'm a late bloomer). Yet I am so busy. I'm taking 16 units, which includes working for the campus paper. So I'll spend my time either in class, studying/doing homework, and working as reporter and assistant features editor for Viewpoints. I'm also supposed to get a job along side of the web design/editing for a broker's website form my mom's office. Where will I find the time to do anything? I have no clue!! I confess that I feel a bit overwhelmed when I think of it all. I have already been assigned a story to write and the deadline is Wednesday of next week and I cant interview my subject till Monday. It's gonna be one hell of a week. I'll also be finding out if I got the job at the coffee house. Agh I'm so anxious and worried about what the future holds that it is hard for me to focus on the present.

The recession is really kicking butt. It has forced my to grow up a lot more quickly than I had planned or imagined. And when I mean "grow up," I mean take on more responsibility like an adult. Expenses placed on me.

I'm gonna stop writing now cause I feel like I'm doing a "dear dear, my life sucks.." entry and I didn't want my blog to be about that so I'll stop now.

To end on a happier note:
I'm one of three assistant feature editors and I'm going to have my first story for Viewpoints published next week, hopefully! YAY! And it looks like I'll have a car to drive very soon. My uncle and dad have been working hard on getting our Previa running again so my mom doesn't have to be my chauffeur to and fro. God provides!! I need prayer to stay focused on what needs to be done so I don't end up procrastinating.

peace and love~

Something to ponder

2009-09-03T19:44:00.001-07:00

from LeLove

I'm drawn

2009-09-03T19:20:00.000-07:00

Got this picture from Style Magnet blog. A very fun blog to look at. It inspires me.

What a couple of few weeks I have been having! It has kept me from my blogging as you can see. So I apologize for that. I started school on Monday and it has been a whirling roller coaster.
It has been a total disaster here at school. With the budget crisis, Riverside Community College was greatly affected. Hundreds of classes were cut and tuition was raised. Hundreds of students were dropped from classes for ridiculous reasons. The tension on campus has been intense, to say the least. But after days of attending classes to see if there is any space for desperate lil' me, I have managed to acquire 16 units. YES! SUCCESS~

I'm exhausted and have much to do already. If the first week of school is like this, I'm afraid I am not much looking forward to this semester.

Hope your week wasn't as outlandishly and ridiculously stressed as mine.

joe and zo

2009-08-21T16:53:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen their movie 500 days of Summer yet but I sure hope I do soon. Love them both.

Have an awesome. As for myself, I'm going to San Diego to see my cousins and hang out with my dearest of cousins and friends, Whitney.

Send it on

2009-08-17T19:53:00.000-07:00

My sister Vanessa sent my mom this Bread Pudding recipe from Simply Recipes and it looks absolutely delish and easy to make! Just look at the picture. One could just look at it and imagine partaking in its sweet warm bourbon-syryped soaked heavenlyness. I'm going to make this ASAP!!
thanks Nessa!

Dreamer

2009-08-11T22:21:00.000-07:00

Right now, I am completely re-organizing my room. Quite enjoying it, actually. This has put me in a decorative mood and want to hang this string of lovelies on the wall above my bed and pretty up my window. Found from Lobster and Swan.

Hope your day was sweet. :)

We could've had something great

2009-08-06T15:46:00.001-07:00

Isn't it so small and cute? This is the Honda Fit. I was going to own one of these awesome cars through the Cars for Clunkers program. The deal was I was going to turn in my 1999 gas-guzzling minus A/C Suburban with 250,000 miles on it and drive home with a Fit. But no!
The dealership failed to completely gives all details required to turning our clunker. So, in a nutshell and to avoid me writing a raging wrathful blog post, the deal didn't happen and I now have no car at all to drive.

I am now on the constant look out for a car that is cheap, runs, gets decent mpg and preferably has A/C. Estoy triste because just today I have seen 4, YES FOUR, Fits driving on the street. One even parked next to me.

Sigh

ROFL

2009-08-05T14:45:00.000-07:00

hahahahhahahahahahaha thats so cute and funny.

from josh goleman

Photo Happy

2009-08-04T10:36:00.000-07:00

Just one of those photos that make me smile. Have a pleasant tuesday!!

Want this

2009-08-03T21:35:00.000-07:00

Urban outfitters has a new shipment just in. Clothing, accessories and apartment decor!!! love it all this shower curtain is one of the many things I would love.

Foreign Flavor

2009-07-28T20:13:00.000-07:00

At a store near you ( most likely to be an asian market)

Ramune!!

A delicious japanese soda. There are tons of flavors of these guys like, peach, leche and well..i dont even know but the melon one is totally abso-freaking-lutely great!

What also makes this soda so cool is the process by which you open the bottle. They closed of the opening with a little ball kind of shoved there, sealing it like a tomb. How do you open it, you ask? It includes this tiny piece of plastic. What a cork screw does for wine bottles, this plastic thing does for ramune but instead of taking out the ball you push it in.
if that didn't make any sense to you watch Opening Ramune 101

you should try it!! Have any delish international foods/drinks to recommend?

Recent Reads

2009-07-28T14:14:00.000-07:00

Want to be a be-yatch?

Well, a skinny one that is. I'm reading "Skinny Bitch" by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin.
I must say these girls talk in a language only sailors could understand (if you know what I mean) but they get to the core of becoming healthy and well, pardon my french, a skinny bitch!

They exploit the lies and schemes of governmental agencies and food corporations. They get down to the nitty-gritty and are straight forward. They are also pretty funny and that's a plus!

A recommended read!!

Twelvsies Tuesdays

2009-07-28T12:59:00.001-07:00

Modcloth.com is having Twelvsies Tuesdays where they are selling 12 items for 12% off!

Check

Check it out!!

Favorite things

2009-07-27T19:34:00.000-07:00

There are many things I love in this world.
Family, beaches, kittens, rain, sunsets, sunrises, hiking, rock climbing, dessert, red grapes, etc.
But one of the things I really love is Williams-Sonoma. I could look at their site for hours. WOO!

Here are some stuff that I would really love to have
pie molds
glass prep bowls
bundt cake
rustic runner
olivewood cutting board
glass teapot
Gotta have a kitchen aid
tiole au couleur tablecloth
monogrammed vases

Just to name a few ;)

Have a Good Weekend!

2009-07-24T16:52:00.001-07:00

Have a good weekend, dears. As for me, Im going to the famous Californian shores tomorrow to enjoy the salty H2O and perhaps see the US Hurley surf competition at Huntington Beach.

PEACE!

In any form

2009-07-22T19:58:00.000-07:00

Im craving some chocolate and don't seem to have any lying around the house anywhere.

What do you crave?

Sun Shade

2009-07-22T13:57:00.000-07:00

Parasols.

Why aren't these an everyday must?

Cute and trendy

and most importantly protects the skin from the sun!

Raindrops

What a beautiful morning!

2009-07-22T10:44:00.000-07:00

AHHHH!!!

The weather is so awesome today. Its hot, yes. But bearable hot cause there is a smigen of coolness underlying the heat. So nice.

My mom and I cleaned our hummingbird cleaner this morning. It was looking unappetizingly filthy so we cleaned it crystal-clear and made more sugary goodness for them to enjoy.

These little guys must be keeping watch on that feeder cause the second I placed it on our loyal ash tree limb, those little suckers came speeding out of the tree to taste the fresh sweet nectar of sugar cane and agua.

I could waste away hours watching them.

Not only have we been getting pretty humming birds, with their gorgeous shining chest plates of red and purple but larger birds that are black and yellow and are Oh so pretty. I have no idea what kind of birds they are but their really cute.

I heart birds. :)

Smoldering

2009-07-21T19:23:00.000-07:00

Its been so gosh darned hot here in So Cal. Its been over 100 degrees the past couple of days and left me immobilized. I sit around like a lump of melting being not knowing what to do with myself. Paying for AC these days is expensive and so my family has decided not to use it to help decrease bill payment. Because of our selflessness, we are left in a house that reaches over 90 degrees and about 88 at night with fans and all. And for some reason my room likes to be the hottest in the house so it makes sleep almost impossible- even with a fan and nothing but a sheet on my bed.

Lovingly, today's temperature has been nice. It got to 90 something today which is awesome and there's a wonderful refreshing cool breeze. I got to sleep in today!! nice!

Car issues:

I have them

car? 1999 Suburban

problem? No AC, Crapped-out engine and transmission and it failed the smog test

result? either I find a car and money to buy it with or its public transportation for me next semester!!

Im not really happy about this situation as you can imagine but I must go with the flow and hope for the best. God help me!

Have a fab summer day!

Bing Bong

2009-07-18T23:54:00.000-07:00

I love this blog. One of my favs! She posted this cool list of wedding blogs. I'm not even engaged or anything close to marriage but I feel like everyone is getting married and I love just looking and getting all excited!!! Lobster and Swan-Wedding Directory

The chosen one

2009-07-15T22:33:00.001-07:00

Saw 'Arry tonight.

This movie was absolutely amazing. Loved the humerous snippets, crazy love triangles and the jumpy scenes. Very accurate to the book and I simply can't wait till they come out with the last of the series done in two parts!

Did you see Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince? Do you think it is accurate with the book?

The Sun blows kisses

2009-07-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

I love freckles. I love my freckles.

Do you have any freckles? Do you like them or wish them away?

Bliss

2009-07-13T11:21:00.001-07:00

Kohler Flipside Handshower

This shower head is what I desire for a pleasant and relaxing rinse. I love the different settings it has and the fact that it flips! Who wouldn't love that sort of feature?

Fusion

2009-07-10T21:00:00.000-07:00

I'm a fan of Tim Burton's work BUT....
I don't know whether I should be excited or frightened.

Johnny Deep, Helena Bonham Carter and Anne Hathaway in his adaption of Alice in Wonderland.

Do you want to see this movie? Should be interesting

High

2009-07-10T11:14:00.001-07:00

lovely <3

Oh Baby!!

2009-07-10T10:42:00.001-07:00

My uncle and his fiance are having a baby!! I'm so excited to have another cousin!!!

I wonder if it is a boy or girl. And I wonder what they'll name it.

I really like Jaden or Darius for a boy

Colette, Adeliade or Élise

What are some of your favorite baby names?

Happy Fourth!!!

2009-07-04T11:14:00.001-07:00

Enjoy today and may it be blessed!

Miss Watson

2009-07-01T13:05:00.000-07:00

Our lil' Harry Potter starlet has certiantly blossomed into a lovely young lady.

Emma Watson in Teen Vouge

Flying high

2009-06-29T09:19:00.000-07:00

Finally! They are here!

My belated debriefing of my trip to the East Coast.

As you may know, I went to Connecticut in May for my cousin Alyssa's graduation from the Coast Guard Academy.

And I have for you here pictures from my travels to Connecticut!

Shot from the airplane. Sweet.

They call this the "parade." Its a drill where the stand with their company and they present the colors and fire the cannons! Its really cool to watch.

Alyssa with her mom and brother Bradley at graduation. She is now Ensign Alyssa Van Delden!

The graduation ceremony. The Secretary of Homeland Security was their speaker.

Got to see my cousin, Christine's baby, Devin. SOO adorable and soo happy.

Took a train to the Big Apple!

You don't realize how crazy it is until you're there. And you literally have to walk everywhere.

This is Times Square.

Saw the huge Toys R' Us store

Trump Tower.

Went to Tiffany Co.

Fifth Avenue.

Visited the Famous Central Park. Another place you don't realize the hugeness of size. But it definitely grand!

Drove to Boston with my cousin Pierre and Brad and sister Ingrid. I'm pretty sure I definitely want to live here. All of the buildings are brick and there's a lovely harbor.

*(from left) Bradley, me, Pierre at the harbor in Boston!

Made a stop in New Haven and fell in love with Yale. If I'm going to grad school, it would be here or NYU. Vanessa almost went here....<3

I'm pretty sure this is the Sterling Memorial library at Yale. There is gorgeous architecture here. There's a hallway in this library that had pillars so intricately carved I could study them forever. Oh, and the stain glass windows! Drool...

Our last visit for the trip was Newport, Rhode Island. We did the mansion walk. If you have never heard of this, there's a path you can walk long the cliff in Newport and along these cliffs are huge, amazing, stunning mansions. NAY! Castles!

This house left me breathless. For sure my favorite from the ones I was able to see. We didn't do the whole walk because its actually really long and it started to rain. I was awestruck when I saw this house. First off, it had a gorgeous tall rod-ironed fence for an entrance with brick pillars. There was a perfectly tended to garden and shrubs surround the perimeter of the property. Oh to be wealthy...

Well, that concludes a summary of my trip to the east coast. Very much in love with it. My kinda environment. I loved that all the houses on the eastern coast were so different and seemed to hold a piece of our country's history in its very foundation, unlike the cookie-cutter houses here in California. :(

I'd love to go back soon and spend more time in New York and Boston and visit the surroundings states. Hope you enjoyed and again my apologies for taking so long to post these.

Legacy that will NEVER die

2009-06-25T21:38:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I'm still in shock and disbelief.

I never thought Michael Jackson would die in this decade or the next 3 at least. It is such a tragedy.

The King Of Pop,

however, will never die completely. He lives continuously through his music and the incredible dance moves he created. He will be at every wedding reception, proms and club.

My prayers are with his loved ones.

STOMP on de replay

2009-06-25T12:18:00.000-07:00

I adore this song

Mat Kearney- Closer to love

Update:

SO the monster on my eye is almost gone. A very speedy recovery considering these things could take forever to heal since there isn't much blood flow to the bottom of the eye, thus decreasing a quick recovery time. According to my doctor(very awesome guy), he said my immune system has been fighting my allergies to cats for so long with out me knowing it, that its slowing becoming weak making it harder for it to fight ailments.

As a result, the cats are completely banned from my room and have made a progressive tranistion to being full outside cats to the exception that they eat and drink in our weight room via kitty door. I can't even touch them for a long time.

I hate that I can't do that. I love my kittys so much and didn't even know I was allergic to them until about a year ago. But my rehabilitation has been eased by a few days away from the house when I went on vacation and now I'm staying at aunt's because I'm housesitting for her. She's in Alaska taking my cousin Alyssa, from the Coast Guard, up there. Alyssa just graduated and is now stationed in Kodiak for the next two years.

I also had some blood work done while at the doctor's and found that I'm slightly anemic, am low in phosphorus and my cholesterol is VERY low. He wants my cholesterol to go up a bit to help my anemia and that means eating FATTIER FOODS! yay! haha

Fatty foods in a healthy sense, which includes more meat( which I don't eat much of), dark greens like spinach and broccoli, and oils. For phosphorus, I'm taking calcium magnesium and something he made. They are awful tasting stuff. BLECH...

But I'm glad I finally have a answer to so many years of infliction. Just avoid that cats and take care of my immune system. :)

PS I am now 20 and I feel I'm not ready to let go of my teen years. My excuse for reckless behavior has gone.

Pour 'em out and pop 'em

2009-06-10T01:05:00.000-07:00

11 pills before bed + twice already today, being taken since Sunday (3x throughout the day)= 99 pills consumed.

I do not have a drug problem.

I have either a stye or a chalazion on my eye. Its pretty much a clogged eyelash follicle or pore. It is pretty gnarly. I'll spare you looking at a picture of it. I have had it since....(backtracking)...last wed or thursday. And it seems to persist and ruin my self-esteem and ability to want to go out in public.

For treatment, I resolved to home remedies My dad got the whole family hooked on homeopathic medicine so we do all we can to stay away from common practice medicine and use things such as herbs and vitamins to solve our health woes.

When, I first got this "mutation", as I like to call it, I used stye eyedrops and diluted echinacea that i rubbed around my eye with a Q-tip. I moved to putting a warm compressant on it every now and again. That didn't seem to do much so I stopped. I also took echinacea and golden seal in capsule form. I stopped using the echinacea on my eye and used some drops my sister got from our doctor for the cataract-thing on her eye to lubricate it and keep it from irritating the rest of her eye. I had to stop the drops all together either saturday or sunday because my eye felt like I had been swimming in a swimming pool charged with chlorine.

During all of this the growth on my eye has gotten bigger, redder, and kinda hard.

If this is grossing you out, I encourage you to not read any further.

It is on my bottom lid, along my lash line. Tonight, the figure of it is that of those miniture jawbreaker candies but not the tiny ones...one up them.

SUnday, my dad advised me to take a bunch of supplements to help fight this thing.

Bromagest for something. Allergy max, which has some natural antibiotics in it, Boswellia for pain, yes there is some burning and hurting, vitamin d for something, vitamin c for obviously reasons, vitamin e to help digest all of these pills smoothly, an inflammatory mix to ease the inflammation and a bunch of other stuff.

heres my nightly ritual

1. as done throughout the day, put warm compressant on eye for a few minutes

2. get pills out

3. mix vitamin c powder and inflammation tonic together

4. take all of 11 pills with tonic

5. rest easy

It seems to help I guess, the mass isn't any bigger and seems to be coming to the end of its eternal course (oxymoron?).

But I am going to our homeopathic doctor tomorrow to see what he thinks and to see if he can speed up the process being that I have to go to my sister's HS grad on thursday and EVERYONE i know will be there.

wish me luck and speedy recovery.

a toast to ur own health

Taste the Rainbow!!

2009-06-07T15:46:00.000-07:00

I almost peed my pants when I saw this! I got so excited and think its absolutely AWESOME!!!

Two Words:

RAINBOW CAKE

check it out

I found it from Abbey Goes design shopping

I'm in LOVE!!

2009-06-06T19:50:00.000-07:00

I have found some amazing blogs and my search for the most awesome isn't over.

I love fashion and design:

this is Molly and Lauren's Blog. I went to high school with these fashion lovers. Love this.

WeareRiffRaff

I love this girl's style.

Karla's Closet

For those who don't know me. I f-ing love baking and anything that has to do with baking. I love the artistry and sweet loving that goes into it:

SO, I'm not vegan but this girl makes being a vegan look delish!!

VeganYumYum

Just love this site

PinchMySalt

I couldn't have said it better myself

For the Love of Baking!

I think cupcakes are one of the cutest and sweetest things invented

CakeSpy

And lastly,

I secretly want to be a wedding planner. But this girl has it all made out just from learning experience. Nessa, found her and I'm sure is taking some notes ;)

A Lovely Morning

Our time was short but Epic

2009-06-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

so Jaden is gone. I woke up this morning to some very loud chirping. i though it was the birds outside btu nope it was sweet lil Jaden. so i opened his box and tried to give him water...nothing

tried to give him some millet...nothing. But he tried to jump out of the box.

I decided to take him out in my backyard and see what he was doing....he hopped right out of the box and explored around, chirping while he did. Seemed like he was calling for help cause when i went to put him back in the box and screeched and squacked and threatened to bite me. He held his mouth agape...in a defensive position. I decided to leave him but keep an eye..in case i needed to intervene on his behalf. He stayed still unless i backed away from him. Then he would come out from hiding, hopping, chirping.

I discovered he is a mocking bird. Cause I heard another, more mature chirp while he called. An adult mocking bird flew over, looking for him, or wondering where his chirp was coming from. Jaden kept close to the house walls...and the adult wouldnt come near the house. SO they were left waiting for the other. I slowly increased my distance between myself and Jaden, hoping that if i was far away he and the adult would find each other and be on their way. I ended up back in the house and before I knew it I couldnt find Jaden.....

SO thats that. I will miss his little angry face

Not so different

2009-06-02T23:45:00.000-07:00

This is Jaden. I found him today at my aunt's house. Well, actually her dog Dixie found him. But I saved him and have taken him home to care for him. He's definitely not a baby baby bird but he looks pretty young still. He let me pick him up no fuss or mess (by mess i mean poo). He's sleeping in my room in a shoe box and a lil bed made of a flet scarf I cut for him. :)

I gave him water and put some bird seed in his box.

If hasn't eaten any by the morning, Ill have to force feed him or go to the pet store to buy meal worms....mmmmm

OH the memories I had as a child. We rescued a bird when i was little. The legendary Buttercup. The baby bird who would jump on the edge o the basket once it was opened, excitingly waiting for her meal, hand-fed to her. The flying lessons........oh baby

So, my new project, so to speak, raising a baby bird :) I can feel my maternal instinct kicking in...haha

Picking up

2009-06-01T13:53:00.001-07:00

I realize i havent posted pictured form my recent adventure but Im doing some editing on them to make them look a bit cooler. I feel like lots has happened since I have returned to home base. For one, I have been able to hang out with my friends who are out for he summer! thank Jesus. I have been in dire need of social interaction with people I have history with!! yes!

I had a picnic with my girls, Tawney, Alissa, and Brooke last week.

Saturday, I went ice skating with Andrew and Tawney. Gosh that was something. I haven' t ice skated much in my life. 3 times tops. I was sooo freaked out when i stepped out onto the ice. My dear friends had to hand hold me for a while so I wouldnt accidentally kill myself. But by the end I was by myself, able to skate and go kinda fast. It was seriously like learning how to walk. I felt so retarded. haha

Last Night, I played softball with my young adults group at church and that was a lot of fun! it was just a crazy night and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Today, My mom and I picked Ingrid up from school and took her to Kola radio station ( 99.9 fm) where she picked up her $1000 prize check. She won a contest where she had to take a picture in front of the Ontario Auto Center sign with a creative spin. It was such a cute picture.

It seems that prize winning runs in the family. You wouldn't believe how many times my mom has won a random selection contest or raffle. RIDICULOUS. Ingrid inherited the luck I suppose.

Classes are almost over and, I know everyone says this, I CANT WAIT. I seriously can't though. Not only cause I'll have the freedom and sweetness of summer but I don't have to go to my classes anymore. I mean, they were so boring for me this semester. They were just too easy. I feel like i haven't learned anything new this semester. But Im super excited for the fall schedule. I plan on making it as exciting and as challenging as ever!

Well, just an update and a reminder I'm still alive and kicking it! haha I will edit pics quickly and post soon!! THATS A PROMISE!!

also, I really want to start up some sewing projects. My sister, nessa, challenged me to to the fat fabric swap thing. I think Im gonna do it. Although I dont really know how to quilt but I will teach myself. yay!

ill be posting soon! have a super fantastic day!!

Dunkin, Uniforms and Air travel OH MY!!

2009-05-26T22:08:00.000-07:00

O'kay I am back from the east coast!

Connecticut to be more correct, meaning that was the whole purpose i went. Twas my cousin Alyssa's Graduation from the Coast Guard Academy. I'm so proud of her<3 I shall soon post pictures as soon as i get back on cali time and in the swing of things. And as soon as that occurs I will hsow lovely photos and tell of my many adventures and encounters with the beings of the east side of America. They are different for sure.

Why does this post look diff? I just found that can change fonts/colors my going to the compose instead edit html part of the posting section for my blog. Im smart. I promise.

Just not technologically savvy.

They should make a pill for this..

2009-04-27T11:42:00.000-07:00

I have been lacking motivation to do, well, anything this past week but I am done.
I was telling my mom that I wished I was almost obsessively clean and organized. My room is somewhat clean right now but I wish it looked like a magazine room, where everything is perfectly placed and everything dusted to perfection. I think this would very much help with y sensitive allergies. I've been ok with the cats the last month or so but they all decided that my room was their favorite room and thus proceeded to camp out in my room leaving trails of cat fur everywhere in my room.
Today I will clean my room from top to bottom and from wall to wall.
Also, looking for a job.
Its not easy in this economy to look for a job you like. I would much prefer not to work in food service (been there done that). I wouldnt mind a coffee shop, would love a bookstore or the museum downtown. we shall see. I think Im going to also look into the Press Enterprise and the Wall Street Journal.

WIsh me luck and motivation

Look but Dont Touch

2009-04-16T13:49:00.000-07:00

I feel selfish but these are gorgeous.

These Sentimental things

2009-04-15T00:25:00.000-07:00

Im feeling nostalgic tonight.

Thought Id post some of my fondest photos that I have in my album.

Not all of these pictures were taken by me. For example, the ones OF me are taken by someone else. I am an amateur photographer and do not claim to be anything fabulous.

This is me...my sister ashley took it in the field behind our house one day. It was our lil photoshoot

I took a few of her in the field. She's a good model

My cousin Brianna's wedding in September.. lovely lovely. I really like this pic even though its totally out of whack.

I think this picture looks pretty cool....i darkened the contrast. it is the deck in my backyard but kinda looks like a tropical jungle. Me gusta

Kittay. baby #1

newest band member.

I like to bake things but am not photogenic(?)

Oh pleasant days. much more exciting, entertaining and enthralling. Where have you gone?

Ur the new classic

2009-04-05T16:49:00.000-07:00

I wish I could post pictures of the wedding i went to last night. Most perfect one ever!

The bride and groom, the dresses, the colors, the lights, the music, the food, the people, the decor, the flowers, thw whole atmosphere. perfection

So artificially Sweet

2009-03-25T22:20:00.000-07:00

Its Wedensday and I am somewhat pensive.

These past few days I have just been pondering about life. The past, present and frightful future. I have been thinking so much about it, in fact, that I actually dream about it. The dreams are only small snippets of memories as a child and dreams that reveal my desires and wishes.

As I have said before I believe that I have been brought home to figure out what my purpose in life is and to develop into a more mature and independent person. It might seem impossible to become independent while living at home with my parents but I think that in other aspects of my life I am becoming more self-reliant.

I think slowing the Lord in opening up his plan for my life to me. I couldn't tell you where He is leading me right now. I don't know if I will continue pursuing journalism or if I will choose to do something else. The only evidence I have for God uncovering His plan is that every time I think about what life will have in store, I have total peace. It used to scare me to death, what my future held. But now I don't feel pressure to do anything.

It may be confusing why I am doubting my choice in majoring in journalism now because everything seemed to be going swimmingly for me last year. But what if it isn't supposed to be that easy for me? What if I had stayed at Biola and continued in that major? How would I have grown as a person with everything planned out for me and laid at me feet, waiting for me to take it?What if I'm supposed to fight harder?
I don't think that's how its gonna work for me.

Another thing I have been thinking about....singleness. This used to be a touchy topic for me. I didn't like being single, although I had nothing to compare it too except for what I have seen. I have come to find, however, that I am perfectly content being single. Yes, there are times where Ithink otherwise. But other than that, singleness and I could be BFFs.

Pain never felt so Good

2009-03-09T22:56:00.000-07:00

If you're wondering why I have't taken to the blog lately..well its because there wasn't much to blog about in my view. But a lot has happened in the last two weeks and now I have something to talk about. Which is exciting!

So, my days at school are long but I feel very studious, either stationing myself on campus somewhere secluded and doing homework and studied or napping in my car :) Its not too bad, I sometimes enjoy it; I just come home really tired and with my brain as jelly. I think I enjoy my spanish and pilates class the most. Spanish is probably my most difficult class too which is weird that I like it. Posible, me gusta hacer un desafio!
translation: I possibly like the challenge.

Pilates is definitley working me. Im always asking Ingrid " Feel my abs! Feel how hard they are now." But right now if you're imagining me with a flat tummy and a six-pack please erase that image from your mind because it depresses me and is a false image...for now :)
I always walk out of that class feeling stretched, flexed, strengthened and confident! Which is always good for a person, I believe.

My cousin Audrey got wedded about two weekends ago. Although I do not have pictures on my computer, I will try to post some soon. My mom constructed the wedding cake for the occasion. ANd it was not only delish but stunning. It was a french style "cake" although I wouldn't call it a cake but a tower of AWESOME!! it consists of creme puffs being glued together with caramelized sugar into a tower sort of thing. Then decorated as preferred. We did spun sugar and small white flowers. SO CLASSY! and we also dipped about 300-400 strawberries in milk and white chocolate. It all turned out amazing. There was small drama involved but I won't get into that.

Last weekend, I had the pleasure and joy of visiting friends at my former Biola. It was a very nice visit and it was good to see everyone....well almost everyone. It weird to come back as an outsider, per say, and see how the dynamics of friendships have changed and how things "go down." I won't go any more into that either. But it was a nice visit.

This last weekend, just passed, was quite the adventure.It was the weekend of first timing. I went up to BIg Bear with Oom Jopie and Ingrid. We stayed at friends', Marco and Ally, house Saturday night. Sunday morning, we went with Marco to the discover center, where he works, and went with him and his tourist group on a snowshoeing hike. They aren't the stereotypical snow shoes you think of. Ya know, the tennis rackets but they are more "high tech." Although the snow got kinda slushy later, it was an awesome event. That was my first time snowshoeing.
We had lunch at a little restaurant called Big Bear Manor. Why am I telling you the name of this place? What's its importance?
Well, 1. I thought it was a cute name
2. The place itself was cute and quaint
3. And most importantly, THEY HAD THE BIGGEST PANCAKES ID EVER SEEN!!
I had one. That was my first time having a pancake the size of a platter. YES A PLATTER! i kid you not, friend, I kid you not.
Go get one yourself if you do not believe.
After the settling of what felt like a pound of pancake, we went rock climbing. First time. Ok technically, thats a lie. I have been rock climbing but marco and ally don't think it is really rock climbing. It was one of those pathetic walls you find at fairs and such. SO anyways I went rock climbing. According to my hosts, they said the rock I was to climb was a 5 10 B, which is an advanced wall. Again, It was my first time. I was excited to try, thinking I could scurry up that rock like a spider. haha what a stupid ignorant fool I was.
I took me probably an hour to climb this was...at least. I would say it was about 35ft high. But I did it and I have never felt so proud of myself for anything! You're up there clinging to this rock by practically nothing and your arms and legs feel like their gonna give way and you're telling yourself, " How the heck did I think I could do this...piece of cake?!" But once you reach the top, you feel so free and strong and like you're the boss! It truly is an amazing feeling!

Well, this post is coming to a close because I am tired and sore as hell and need to sleep before early class tomorrow. My muscles are soo sore. Funny story....we were making dinner last ngiht after we had climbed and I sneezed. My abs contracted and hurt like a mutha!! I was like " acjoo....ahhhhoowwwwooooooh...gasp" they laughed at me. I'm hoping that my pilates class will loosen up my sore muscles and keep my intense workouts going!!!

Ok Im gone ya'll..like the money our government is trying to spend.
XOXO

DING DING DING

2009-02-16T20:22:00.000-08:00

so winter session is over....

I GOT STRAIGHT A's!!

only in two classes though.....and they would be considered "easy" so...not that AWESOME but i dont care. im proud of me! yay!

Worthy Cause

2009-02-07T23:27:00.000-08:00

All he needs is prayer.
Jack has been a longtime friend of the family. My sibs and I have gone to school with his three kids and he and his wife or good friends of our parents.

http://web.me.com/hawkinsk85/Daddys_Web_Page/Welcome.html

Keeping It Clean.

2009-02-07T23:08:00.000-08:00

Good Movie.....'nough said

Smeared

2009-02-06T21:54:00.000-08:00

Reluctantly I am posting some of the work I've done in my drawing class

All done paper 24x20 in charcoal. Each takes about 8 hours to do. Bad lighting on the first one.

Experimentally

2009-02-06T16:36:00.000-08:00

Where's my Head

2009-02-04T20:57:00.000-08:00

Im exhausted! I dont know if its because I havent been going to bed early enough or if Im just not resting restfully. I wish i would sleep blissfully tonight and feel refreshed in the morning.

I have one more day and a week left of winter classes! hi-ya! As much as i have been enjoying my drawing class and breezing by in math, I would love to start spring semester. I am pretty excited for the new lineup. Im taking 17 units! yep yep Ill be keeping busy. Thank God!. Last semester was a total drag and I hated every moment of it but spring will hopping with interesting classes.
Im taking Physical Anthropology, Critical Thinking, Spanish, Math, Class Piano and Pilates. Im realy exited about pilates and piano!

Update on the baby kitty:
She is vivacious and simply delicious! she definitely lives up to her name. My hands burn when I put lotion on them from the open wounds she inflicted on me but she's totally worth it. dont believe me? I think you need to take a gander at the previous post, 'nough said.

Listening to: "Ragged Wood" Fleet Foxes

Litter Box

2009-02-01T15:32:00.000-08:00

PLease help me welcome our brand new baby......

precious right? Her name is...well i actually dont know how to spell it so heres what it sounds like...its dutch:
(soot-clain-chuh)
it means sweet (soot) little one (clain-chuh)
and she really is a sweet lil thing. she loves kisses, biting and scratching your hand, hiding is small spaces making you look for her for about an hour and thus making you rack your brain whether you left the front door open and giving her a chance to escape outside and she likes chasing string. typical cat stuff. and it seems as though she has "witching" episodes where she goes bazurk. she looks like shes high on crack but shes Oh So adorable.

Cherry Cherry Boom Boom

2009-01-31T00:18:00.000-08:00

ok soo i know i haven posted in a while but Ive got news to tell! and pics to post but cant just yet because the secret hasnt been shared with the person of interest yet.
intrigued?

STAY TUNED SUCKAS
xoxo

Train Under Water-Bright Eyes

2009-01-13T23:01:00.000-08:00

I should be trying to get some sleep right now because of my early start tomorrow but I feel guilty for being more consistent with this blog.
It is a little bit late to say but my holidays were fab. I had family and friend quality time! My sister, Vanessa, came in form Austin, TX, my brother from Sherman Oaks, my cousins from SD came up my BF and cousin Whitney flew in from NM with her momma. I got to see my awesome trio. It was awesome! PIcs!!

where i resigned

2009-01-08T21:29:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately this post is a tad boring.
I started winter classes this week. I have Pre-Algebra (dont ask..but im not dumb) monday through thursday at 6:50-9:05 in the morn. Immediately following, on the appropriate days, I have Drawing from 9:00 am(you see that confusion?) till 2 pm. Yes, it is indeed a full day but it keeps me busy and distracted from the useless things I usually do.

Something I'm researching: Library Science
potential major change?

I'm listening to Joshua Radin: Id rather be with you
Lovely song but Im feeling like Lady Gaga: Paper Gangsta (piano intro is edgy)

Things wish I had with me right now
-larger selection of music
-a cuddly cat on my lap
-a back massage
-an insanely comfy bed, the kind that absorbs your body....o yea

Im loving
-my maroon sweater
-having the house kinda quiet
-jasmine green tea
-these two dresses from Oscar de la Renta

its a bit early but I think Ill turn in. I wish you true fortune in the day and comfortable visions at night.

Rain Rain come Again

2008-12-16T23:35:00.000-08:00

2008-12-15T19:18:00.000-08:00

There was a whole lot of rain today. LOVED IT!! I guess it started raining around midnight pretty hard and kept going till after 2 this afternoon? I dont know it rained a lot though!!

I was able to do some baking this last week. Ashley asked me to bring something to our Young Adults group Christmas party. I wanted to make sujies ( dutch version of creme puffs) but since I had class the night of the party I had to make something that would be durable to last sitting in a car for at least two hours. My final decision was cupcakes. Oh, and not any ordinary cupcakes friends, HOLIDAY cupcakes....o0o0o

These cupcakes are Vanilla Betty Crocker cupcakes. However, the exterior of the cupcakes are handmade. The frosting is buttercream that I made from a recipe I found online. It is so delicious. I was afraid it would be too sweet but it was creamy and buttery and AMAZING. I colored it a minty green with food coloing (duh). The holly I made with white chocolate. I find that it hardens faster than milk chocolate. I simply melted the chocolate in two different bowl in the microwave, stirring every so as to not burn it. I food colored them and placed them into baggies, cut off the tips and then piped into shape onto a cookie sheet and wax paper. Then, when chocolate harden placed onto the cupcake.

Let me just say....

2008-12-10T22:35:00.000-08:00

....that talking about the birds and the bees in a health science class at a public college is and can be a completely mortifying and traumatizing experience. traumatizing.

Oy Vey! What a day...

2008-12-06T22:26:00.000-08:00

...and what a week I'll be having. But first with just today, I had planned on waking up at 9 (an hour and half before class) to take a shower, eat a healthy breakfast, and do some extra studying for my third midterm. But my morning started very differently and kinda strange.
You know when you're sleeping and you can sense someone in our room? No? ok well, if you lived with my dad you'd understand. Whatever the reason may be, scientifically or supernaturally, I can sense when my dad is in my room while I'm in a deep sleep. It sounds strange but its the only way i can describe it. I can remember being in REM, because i was dreaming, and then my sense of awareness flicks on. I opened my eyes a slit and see my dad walking in and sit at the edge of my bed. I knew the time was before my alarm, meaning it was time for me to be sleeping still. I hoped that if i "kept sleeping" he would leave me to continue my comfortable slumber. DENIED. He continued to sit at my bed, got up at some point to examine the contents on the top of my desk, then sit and wait? What seemed like an eternity later, he made na obviously noticeable cough-snort sound where I proceeded to stretch and open my eyes lazily and then pretend to be startled when I saw him.
Anyways, he invited me to breakfast with him and mom. It was 8:30 or so. But I agreed, feeling guilty inside for ignoring him, and asked to have a chance to shower before hand. I got ready, we headed out the door to Coco's ( the good one on central I use to go to as a kid with the fam fam). I had a delicous waffle and coffee and conversation with the folks then treked over to RCC.
I took my midterm, which i did very well on thank you, and decided to go to Panera to do some reading during my break ( We have from 10:35- 12:30 to take our exam. If we finish before the deadline we can go off but be back by 12:45). I sat in a corner booth with my book (the Flouride Deception) and my green tea arnold palmer fully content and pleased with myself. In these surrounds, such as resturaunts, parks, malls, etc. I like to observe the people. And so I did. there were various students hunched over their text books or at their computers, a few adorable elderly couples, and my favorite a young couple with their rambuncous toddler. The man, however, was the one who captured my attention. Not in the reasons you may think but because he looked familiar. I swear on my life this man looked like Ryan (Vanessa's BF) in 10-15yrs and 40lbs. I couldnt help but chuckle to myself.
I went to a dance concert after class. Concert are always fun. It was actually my second time seeing it. I have to write a critique on two pieces in the showcase. I loved the ones I chose to critique. They are both modern solos. So beautiful!
My day ends having watched the Office's latest episode about love, life and all things trivial with my lil sis and this blog yay!
Anyways, tomorrow Im going to a funeral for Tanta Ona, my mom's family friend, and then begin writing papers. I have lets see 1..2...3..4..5 papers dues next week. three are extra credit, which I need! haha
so busy busy and I havent even started making christmas presents! so much to do!!

insane in the membrane

2008-12-01T13:46:00.000-08:00

it was another enjoyable Thanksgiving this year. Ben came home to celebrate. awesome. My friend Hannah came to stay. super. And we spent the holiday with friends. cool.
I must say, it was especially special to have Hannah come. I miss my former roomie!! It was a delightful visit. We relaxed, watched plently of christmas movies, and we visited the MIssion Inn's Festival of Lights. It was both of our first times going...she has a better excuse.:) It was incredibly crowded there but that did not taint the beauty and splendor of the Mission Inn. If you haven't seen it during Christmas or any other time of the year for that matter, you are truly missing out on the experience to stare in wonder at this architectural piece of art and history. I was also honored to attend Black Friday with Hannah. Yes, Chanelle waking up before 9 o'clock is something of a myth but Lo' and Behold I went to bed at 12 or so and woke up at 2:30. AMAZING. I was going for the purpose of saying I did it but came home wiht a pair of $5 jeans form Urban Outfitters! haha! I couldnt pass that up considering they were originally $68 jeans! Hannah and I also decided to make scarves figuring it would be easy and super cheap and turns out we were!! Here are the ones I made (2)

Here is the first of the too and It is probably my favorite. One because its a very pretty light blue material that is lightweight and at first touch feels chilled. :) And second because I can wear it with anything! so nifty!

This is the second one. The fabric is nice on this one. Its thicker and designed for the colder weather. thats a close up of the fabric so you can see the detailing on the pattern.
well...thats pretty much all that happened. Besides the fact that I am as sick as a dog right now. Its just a cold. The kind where you're sore all over and you are sensitive to light and feel like your head will explode with the cranial pressure.
Hope Your holiday was swell. Come back soon!

The Renewed mind is the Key

2008-11-16T23:41:00.001-08:00

for the above I have one word....youtube
look it up on youtube...you'll never regret it as long as you live

Ashley and I had a lil "photoshoot" if you will a few weekends ago. Id like to share with you, my devout readers :) our results. However, it only the ones I took of her. She took some of me but I dont like them so.....

OK i lied...maybe a few of me and her...just cause i think they turned out pretty cool...not trying to show off

" I geeked out"

2008-11-15T22:55:00.000-08:00

"what has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer?"
<---"This GUY!!" John Krasinski who portrays the sweet yet mischevious Jim Halpert on the Office. And if you watch it, you'll know where this quote is from. and am going to be a ridiculous girl and simply say," i love him and i think he's awesome." ok done.<3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_CozHv6j6OPQ/SR_HkdOHuaI/AAAAAAAAACY/2sVV80YNVEQ/s1600-h/IMG_8726.JPG"> I met up with them there after class...pth. Ingrid got her a coach clutch which I hear from others that she adores it! Mom and Dad are getting her a Hope chest. Hope chests are the bug awesome wooden chests that you could store your blankets, sweaters, slipper collection, anything. They thought it would be cool for her to have when she gets her own place. I got her this white knitted sweater from Swell that has big brown buttons on it. She really wanted it so I got it! And friday night, a party was held in ashley and friend sam's honor, being their birthdays are a day apart. I made her an applesauce cake so it didn't have any dairy!! It turned out wonderfully. I got it from A betty crocker cook book.It doesn't have any frosting and a baked it in a Bundt cake pan. :) And according to the guys who took some of the cake home, it goes wonderfully with a cup of coffee for breakfast.
Ingrid had her birthday last month but she got Vanessa gift(s) in the mail the other day. My Nessa is so thoughtful. She created this sweet tradition. You can read it in her blog. But ingrid opened her box of delights and my parents documented.

and here she is opening some of her many gifts...she is obviously tickled by the thoughtful and sweet presents!!

ok now and final thing. LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

awesome huh? And where did I find it? Good question. My backyard!!
Ya. who knew you could actually find treasure chests in your backyard? I didn't! Im just as shocked as you are but much more thrilled! You cant tell very well with the picture but it has a very old-just washed-up-on-the-beach look to it. the chipped painted is a seafoamy green (its like it was made for me) and the metal trimming is very tarnished and rusted. this little number brighten my week. perhaps my month. I had to clean spider webs out of it and dust it off non the less it is now gorgeous. I have decided to use it to store my art supplies, or at least most of it. My paints, sketching pencils, watercolor pencils and most of my brushes ( my bigger ones pictured with chest have to be store elsewhere). Im so happy i came upon this.

Making its first public appearance...

2008-11-10T15:13:00.000-08:00

so, if you didn't know, I was asked by my young adults pastor to create a painting for our series "Promises." The theme verse we are using is II Corinthians 1:20. If you look it up or read below, it a difficult verse visualize in your head, as in picture it.
I took on the task to then think of something visual to go along with this verse. I threw around a few ideas in my head and decided to play it safe with something that didn't require a whole lot of interpretation. So I picked the idea of doing a celtic looking cross, they are ageless and seem to stay around forever. Thus, the reason why I chose it. God's promises are always there and made concrete in His word, meaning if He says it will happen then it will happen. I chose yellows, golds, greens and purples as the color pallet because they are rich colors and play well together.

So without further ado....sorry for the bad lighting....

This was done with acrylics. You can't really see it in this lighting but I got this really sweet looking gold paint that looks amazing with light reflecting off of it. I used a think brush to do the background. I mixed yellow, orange and white to get the golden rod color. I drew out the cross then painted the green behind it. I really didnt like how that turned out at first but Ingrid sadi it looked cool so I kept going. As I began doing the detail work on the cross, I didn't like how it was looking, the painting in general. I felt too simple and I was having trouble trying to decide what color to use for the lettering. So i added a darker golden color, light purple and accented with gold with a fan brush around the cross to give a cloudy effect. It looked so much better and gave me a larger color pallet to use for the verse. So the verse was done in a dark royal purple that I made by combing blue and purple. I emphasized the "YES" because Trevor, my pastor, wanted me to. I did that in a darker tone of the royal purple and highlighted with a light purple and tipped it with the gold paint. And just so you know writing isn't easy at all in paint. It was prob. one of the more frustrating parts of my work.
If I could change anything about the painting would be the writing....im just not a huge fan of it. But im pretty much pleased with the whole thing. :)

My epiphany

2008-11-06T20:39:00.000-08:00

I think I understand why God has taken me out of Biola and brought me back home, so listen up and be intrigued!

My epiphany came to me with slow progression. Since, the summer I have been asking, nay, begging God why He made me leave my comfortable life at Biola, where I had friends who meshed with me so wonderfully and classes I actually enjoyed and were challenged in. Why did he make me go to the one school I swore to stay away from, thinking it was the scum of the educational system. And why he made me move back home, where I felt confined and restricted in my growth into the person I was becoming.
Thinking and trusting God would reveal his plan to me in time, I put up with a lot. I had the constant feeling of deep pain and betrayal that He would take from me something that seemed so perfect for me. I felt alone and depressed, being taken from my friends and comfortable environment. I have been struggling with my trust and faith in God and have taken out my anger on my family.
There's an artist I found on the radio and fell in love with how real he is in his music and how he sings his heart. I just bought his CD, which is amazing. His name is Brandon Heath and there's a song on the album called Trust You. Some of the lines say "I’m not gonna fight you anymore
Not gonna try to lock the door
You took your life and gave me yours
There’s no reason why
I shouldn’t trust you with mine

It’s never easy changing my direction
It’s so unnatural to loosen up my grip
Are you growing weary of all my good intentions
Cause I know that You don’t work that way."

I was just amazed at the simplicity but the depth of the truth in this song. I felt such shame and guilt for acting the way I have been and blaming God. I love how it says "you took your life and gave me yours. There's no reason why I shouldn't trust you with mine." After hearing this song, the epiphany completed itself in a wave of emotion. I felt relief that God really did have a plan for me. Stupid for taking so long to realize this. Joyful that my life seems to have a purpose and a hope again, my life is to serve and follow God, whereever he takes me. A priceless piece of Mother's wisdom, a phrase my mom tells me constantly, " God has a path paved for your life, its already done, we just receive new information leading us to the next step in that path."

So, and here it is!, as long as I trust God with my life, the one He has given and forgiven me, there is no need to fuss over anything. All in all have faith.

Im not who I was. Brandon Heath.

2008-11-06T15:54:00.000-08:00

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was

the hours I need

2008-10-08T23:04:00.000-07:00

THIS IS FOR NESSA....I know you wanna kiss it!!! :P

SO this week has been...long to say the least i feel like it should freakin next week already..haha I have spent the week somewhat preparing for a presentation that I was gonna give at the command of the professor....it looks like ill be doing it monday for sure. Ive been kinda anxious about that because I never knew when I would be doing it till today after class. And I thank God for it. I dont feel very prepared to give a good presentation about Social Dance.....oo la la

Eek.....i have some allergies right now. I think there is a fire soemwhere. as in like wildfire cuz I ave been smelling it sine my drive home from school tonight.....i dont think ill be sleeping well again tonight.
so seriously whats wrong with me. the last few nights I have been going to bed at around 10 or 11 and i wake up at 8 30....and I feel so unrested and everyone tells me..even people I dont really know... " are you tired? You look so tired.." I cant remember the last time I woke up from a night of slumber and felt rested and awake....its depressing. I mean I love my sleep and all, probably more than food, but theres a point where Im like If im not going to sleep well I dont want to sleep at all but i feel so tired. Its horrible.

I watched Memoirs of a Geisha today. I forgot how good that movie is. It is just soo aesthetically beautiful... i wish I was japanese. no joke. they are just a beautiful and graceful race to me. watch the movie if you havent. Take notice there is some stuff that isnt so honorable in the movie but it isnt raunghy it just gives enough to tell you whats happening. But honestly thought this movie is lovely cinematically. well thats my lil spiel.

well.. time for bed. hopefully the smokey air wont affect my sleep in a bad way cuz I really dont need that. Maybe my pillow with give me peace tonight

Almost fall

2008-10-04T23:59:00.000-07:00

The skies were finally gray and full of clouds that were swelling with rain. I woke up this morning feeling delightful cuz the love was gonna come in a downpour....
I wore a sweater in the house all day, pacing back and forth waiting for the heavens to burst in welcoming tears. It felt like fall was finally here adn life could finally begin!!! Fall and winter are my favorite seasons. I love fall for its chilly winds and introduction to the holiday season and the colors it brings. Winter brings most of the rain and cold for me, giving reason to bundle up like it was the east coast.

But the sky above disappointed me....she did not shower me in her drizzle. She just graced me by appearing but left without a drop.....sigh
she better not disappoint next time....i want a downpour!! love love love the rain!

Update on the schooling
It so happens that classes are somewhat enjoyable from time-to-time. I annoyed one of my professors and a few of my peers by correcting the professor on her ill grammer. Pure satisfaction! :)

Now and then, I reall ymiss my life back at Biola 1) because i felt like I had a life of my own 2) and mostly because of this i miss my friends. Its quite depressing being here alone and not having them here to cheer me on and be there for me. So post is for my friends at biola! Hannah, Bekah, Tessa, Shannon, Jaimee, Jayne, Kellyn, Nicholle, Christine, Katie, Blakeslee, Kelli, Cindy, Kathy, Aubri (whos in oxford) Kerri, Elizabeth, and Ellie.

the worst procrastinator....me

2008-10-02T16:11:00.000-07:00

I dont even know if anyone reads this.....
anyways

Its two hours before my Philosophy/Critical Thinking class and I am studying for my very first exam of the semester. Cheeky. I think this is my most difficult class. I honestly thought it was gonna be a piece of pie but it turned out to be more confusing than I had planned. I was hoping to breeze by in ALL of my classes.
I must look the dumbest fool in the class because my first week of class, I did the wrong questions on a section of the HW, which turned out to be the only section she graded. ZERO!

The next assignment, I did the right questions but was just confused on how to answer the questions so I missed half of the questions. FAILED!

This last assignment, when I finally got my book, I had forgotten that because my book is the older addition that the questions would be in a different section of the book than the 9th edition, that i had been using in the library. So I did ALL of the wrong questions. The sweet boy who graded my hw offered to let me redo the entire assignment when we took a break from grading but I declined cause I felt like it was cheating. ZERO!
So, I now that i know which chapter in MY book goes with what in the Other book i know what the heck Im doing. Im so easily confused...ugh and am apparently not so bright.
I hope to make up all of my elementary mistakes on this test. The studying seems to be going well. Im doinf review and am missing hardly any. Just need to make sure I take my time on the questions.

Hopefully I can post some pics form my cousin Brianna's wedding soon. It was so beautiful. I can't seem to find my camera usb cord however.....hmmmmm

Wish me luck on my exam!!

so..a needle pulling thread

2008-09-17T12:50:00.000-07:00

So a little sampler of whats been going down....
I have taken up embroidery and sewing.
Im really excited to get started on some of these small projects of created for myself. I plan on embroidering my "elephant-ear" skirt. Don't freak out its not made from that. I would never own anything so cruel its just this skirt I bought at Target like a year ago and Tante Bay says it looks like an elephant ear.

So I went to Joann's and got embroidery thread, fabric, some engraving paper and a pattern.
Im gonna make a blouse out of this really cute vintage looking fabric.
I have also decided to paint my room. Yes, Ashley, it wont look like it was your room when Im done. I gonna do.....wait for it.....a MURAL!!! cool huh? i cant wait.
now for the matter of school. well theres nothing really to say... there isnt anything interesting about it.
I had a really fun weekend though!!
i saw my lovely ladies at Biola and Tessa came down too. we went to disneyland and got to hang out the entire weekend!! so fun! i love and miss them terribly.

Ahem..Is this thing on?

2008-09-10T12:16:00.000-07:00

I'd like to dedicate this next song to my beloved sister, Vanessa and her MAN Ryan. I hear this song and I think of you two! :)

This is "Lucky" by: Jason Mraz ft. Colbie Caillat

Do You hear me?
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue
Ocean under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dream
I feel you whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Everytime we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you, I promise you, I wil

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to becoming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put the flower in your hair
Though the breezes through the trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to becoming home someday

TO LISTEN:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc_RIRCAF_w

LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

Can anything go right?

2008-09-09T14:51:00.000-07:00

so...i am taking units officially it seems. Im not too happy about it because I would like to take as many as possible so I can get the you-know-what out of here. hehe. 15 units was all I could get. Biology didnt work out. Italian. Oceanography. Chemistry. Algebra. yada yada...

let the games begin...

Over and under the weather

2008-09-05T10:18:00.000-07:00

SO I started my first week of public, totally cheap, as I've been constantly reminded by my ever-so-wanting-to-save-money mother, parking-less college. Its, um, different to say the least. the professors seem to be pretty chill, like to through cuss words around casually and express how much they love africa (this includes one professor). My fellow classmates are an utter delight!; smelling of cigarette smoke or smacking on their gum like they had tar stuck in their teeth.

As you can tell I am thoroughly enjoying myself here. :) The first day was actually good.It was my physical science class (aka Physics) and the teacher was quite the jokester and I was beginning to this "I actually might like it here" 5 out of my soon-to-be 7 classes are at night. that's right! 5 days a week I am at school from 6-9:30, further adding to my growing adoration of the school. Anyways, I was walking back into the classroom after our last break and noticed a girl walk up to the professor trying to explain why she was two hours late to class. Hear voice sounded almost familiar but I couldnt really see her face to see if she looked it. I sat down at my seat as she sat somewhere in the back. He called her up to his desk to get her name and I heard him say " so thats C-H-O-I?" And I said to myself "No Way!" If you don't remember, Kimberly Choi was one of my really good friends in grade school. I remember her being so tall and graceful looking to me and having these strange jelly korean treats that were delish! SO, Im sitting there thinking should I say hi to her after class, will she remember me? anyways called mom after class and she urged me to greet her so as soon as i get off the phone, Kimberly walks out of the class and our eyes meet.

ANd I say," DO I know you?"

Kim looks at me backing away like I had a contagious disease and in a wary voice " CHHHanelle?"

Me:" Oh my Gosh, Kim?"

we both laugh and hug and talked a little about ourselves and how crazy it was that we are in the same class. ANyways, I thought it was cool.

But since that joyous moment, nothing seemed to thrill me about the school. I saw Tara Holguin at school and chatted how we were poor and couldnt afford our previous college and were now left to go to RCC and my class of Health science seems somewhat amusing. This class by the way is the class with the proud african professor. He has the right to be I know but it might be a bit much for my taste. Oh, and its the class that has a chapter on sex that mom and dad seemed eager to make me uncomfortable with..
Dad: I bet its gonna get crazy when you guys start talking about the sex chapter

Me: ya that what the professor said but whatever its only a chapter

Mom: so what else are you covering?

Me: Um, mental health, physical fitness, alcohol...

Mom: and sex?

Me: Um ya...? and drugs and...

Dad: sex?

Me: yes ( with an annoyed look) Its not that big of a deal guys just get over it...

Oh the joys of being a child and having your parents think talking about sex is awkward and weird...IT is when you're around...

lets see some more happy moments at school...

Oh I know its a billion degrees here and I have no A/C.. doesnt seem to bad. I can take it right?
SURE!

Unless you are in the car for an hour and a half, with NO A/C, looking for a parking space at school and missing your class!!

good times good times.....................................

Woodland Beast Baby

2008-08-23T11:37:00.000-07:00

ok seriously how creepy is this doll. they call it a woodland beast baby. what the heck is that?! anyways... its a beauty out here in so. cal. the sky is clear. all is crystal with the exception of the smoggy haze on the horizon. all of my friends have left me this week to return to their schools. I now ponder what i am going to do with myself until school starts on the 2nd. I reckon i will read move into my room-ashley's room- and attempt to place my own style on the cheerie lil place.

it was funny talking with ashley this week in that in our discussion about me going to a giant public college she said that out of all of the siblings i would be the last one to have chosen to go to such a place. I like it small and comfortable and where I do not have to make a huge effort in interacting with people. " but then again, she said, if we were to choose who should go there it would be Chanelle". well, its happened.

I've started to accept the future for me, whatever it has in store for me. It frightens me, to say the least but I think Im ok with that.

Stop!

2008-08-19T10:26:00.000-07:00

WOW, summer is coming to an end already. This summer, however, was probably as interesting as Mtvs sad-attempt-to-make-a-musical they called American Mall. When my sisters left me on several occasions to visit other parts of our world and had wonderful adventures, I sat at home comfortably, no doubt, but inactive. Exciting, I know. Its what everyone dreams of doing when they are on vacation. Well, this passive and relaxed state of mind came to abrupt halt.

After much discussion and tears, I decided I couldn't return to Biola University, the only other place I loved besides home.

So with my world turned upside down, I'm learning to trust and have faith. My whole life has been planned out already so I have no need to worry about what the future holds as long as I practice having faith and trust in everyone that cares for me.

I guess this first post is just giving an update on what has been happening the last three or four months in my life. The purpose of this blog is to chronicle the transition, that has already proven itself difficult, from my secure and comfortable life into life of the unknown.